Where Got Ghost? preview...

Last nite my darling and me nothing to do... So I decided to watch movie lor... At 1st tot of watching G-Force but reached E-Curve at 9pm and seats for G-Force left afew... And made up my mind to watch Where Got Ghost?


This movie was directed by Jack Neo (a feyhai from S'pore)... It's a movie with 3 different stories... But each of them ended with a moral... Wat a LUNG and so-called educated movie...

1) The 1st story is about "LAMOLOW" or taoist I think... They're greed of money... Even funeral ceremony for kids they did promotion package... Bcuz the head of this taoist wanna get rich in instant so he came out with an idea related to "4-D"... They take 20% commission from the winner who strikes the number tat they give... For more details, watch yourself...

This is the scene where their head ask them to buy fruits, but they 4got so they take the OLING from the dead...


The middle 1 is their head lor... With his famous qoute "I'm so genius, I so dunno y"... The fat guy with black shirt very LUNG...

2) 2nd story is about house in jungle... Bout soldiers start their journey in a jungle to find their end point with a map... This pair of soldier reali very de 7 LUNG... Reali very PUNDEK guy... This is the most funny story of 3...

This is the 2 "FeyHai"... They were lost in the jungle so the skinny 1 asked the fat 1 to take out the ting... Den the fat 1 told him it is a compass not the ting... So the skinny asked him isit d compass rosak... Den fatty told him tis wasn't spoilt cuz compass will owiz point to the NORTH same meaning with "Ji Nam Jum"... The skiiny said oh... Den skinny asked fatty wat is 'S'?... Fatty said 'S' is SOUTH lor... Den 'W' ler?... Fatty said ermm, oh WOMEN lor... Skinny said yaya, den 'E' is ELEPHANT lor... Sohai... Loadz more LUNG dialouges...


After they lost in the jungle they saw this more FATTY den fatty soldier... So they follow her back home as she provide them shelter cuz it's raining heavily... Den she ask them to tied her up to perform magic like David Footballfield... After the 2 SOHAI soldier were amaze bout wat FATTY did... They oso wanna try lor...



So FATTY tied them up... Both oso wan to be the tightest 1 so tat they are more GING lor... Who knows in the end they were murdered cuz the FATTY is finding replacement...


3) The 3rd is bout dead mother blessed their child for their life but not money...

This is the scene bout they're praying their mother who had passed away for a year... All of them are blessing for their business and wealth... This 3 are quite SOHAI oso... Mark Lee (skiiny 1) told her mum tat "Ask ur frenz up ter bless me to cuz ur rp ter for a year, for sure u knw many frenz lor"...



"Eh here got sell any bra? With mickey mouse design on it? Size I think large would be better..." Tis is wer the mother of him keeps bugging him at night until he BEHTAHAN... She wants him to get her, her mickey mouse bra... Very 7 FAI...

This is wer 3 brothers get their mum's "SUN JU PAI" back home cuz their mum blessed their life...

This is the 1st mandarin movie tat I watched in cinema and it is SUPERBLY HILARIOUS... My recommendation...

Rating 8.8/10... FUNNY...

GR8 Answer by GR8 Students

Y I'm not as creative as they are when I took my exams in school... STUPID me!!!



This student did a good job...


The answer is totally correct...


Smart nursery student with brilliant knowledge...


This is the answer make Mr. Lee Wai Kit scold "You Bloody Hell"...




This makes Mr. Lee Wai Kit specs getting thicker each day...


Mr. Lee Wai Kit retire becuz of this...


I wish I can give this answer to a hot teacher... Yeah...


I think Miss. Jaswan R.I.P becuz of this answer...


Actually, the answer is correct...

I really dunno why, I'm not as smart as they are...

The teacher was totally wrong... How can it be 0/10...

Albert Einstien the Jr...

I really dunno how they get this answer... They are way much more innovative then we are now...

* I'll be happy if my students gimme all those answers...

Salam Aidilfitri

During Hari Raya of cuz I will wish all muslims Salam Aidilfitri lar... U know y? Cuz we SATU MALAYSIA mah... Our PM urged us to do so mah... And oso buy tat saham ler (AMANAH SAHAM SATU MALAYSIA)... Interest oso almost same like bank, so lil...



I get to know tat no ppl buy ler... So know the amanah pushed it to the student lor... So tat student can ask their Papa Mama Foundation give them $$$$$ to buy lor... Haiz very good business mine... GING... M'sia-BOLEH...

Ok wat I do during tis raya:-

1) Bk on 19th around 4pm, den of cuz FUCKING jamm lor... Jammed ady almost 1 hr... Our Malay Same Bun reali very unite... All balik kampung at the same time...

2) Wen reached hometown asked my fren wer to go at nite, he said 2nite late abit lor cuz wana hug his mummy... Pundek him...

3) At nite go find my gf lor cuz all my frens oso wana kiss or hug their mummy... Den only gathered with my frenz around 11pm... After yumcha go home sleep lor...

4) On the next day, early morning of cuz can't wake up lor cuz sleep late mah... So wake up at 1pm... Den go to WingLokYuen to have lunch with frens... After tat we go to our Uncle's house play snooker... Pundek all full so waited for some time... Played LUCKY and lose $10++... Ok lor, cuz 2 of my frenz Ah Fook & Ah yip din 'Ban 7' me... So lucky...

5) But on the same day one of my fren Mr. Jarod Phung said wanna play mahjong but he FFK oso mah... Same with his gf lor... PILOT oso (flying boeing 777)...

6) At nite dinner with family lor... Den went to a fren house for BBQ party... Go ter to make the party hotter cuz all oso educated human mah... So go ter said out all vulgar words and salty wet stuffs... Around 11.30pm other group of 'Pung Yau' went to my house for liqour... All oso drink so lil... Same said wan2 drive lar tis lar tat lar... Let ppl TIU lar...

7) The 3rd day, woke up at 9am... LIAMA, last nite sleep around 4 smting I tink... Like no sleep... So early wake up of cuz breakfast with my gf lor... I'm so GOOD rite? After breakfast went to my gf "EARLY CLOCK" house to tidy up some old steel to sell... Sold RM77.30 for around 140kgs... MAHAI only RM0.50 per KG... After my "Canada was flooded of cuz go home take bath lor"... And now waiting my frens to call me for outing...

Hari Raya is very boring for CHINESE and INDIAN, I tink... But MALAY syiok lor, cuz visit their graveyard frens... Reali duno wat rules ler... If Chinese go to cemetry during CNY, 67 lor, no 'Ma Piu' kena lor, 3 bad 6 wok, do wat oso dum dum dum...

* But anyhow SELAMAT HARI RAYA. MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN. SALAM AIDILFITRI... SATU MALAYSIA YEAH...

Funny Politician Interview...

The scene - March 2009. Datuk Seri Mohd. Ali Bin Mohd. Rustam has just won the Deputy President post in the UMNO elections. By convention, he has also been appointed to be the Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia . Soon after, criticism began to mount on his credentials as Deputy Prime Minister. Amongst those criticisms are that he lacks knowledge in foreign relations and the economy and also of his poor command of the English language.
In order to dispel those criticisms, an interview was arranged with American news company Bloomberg. Here is the transcript of that interview.

Interviewer: Good evening, you’re with me, Condelezza Cruz on a special interview with Mr. Mohd Ali Mohd Rustam, the new deputy prime minister of Malaysia . We will be asking his views on a number of pertinent issues in Malaysia and the world. First of all Mr. Ali Rustam, congratulations on being elected as Deputy President of the United Malays National Organization or UMNO, a part of the ruling Barisan Nasional coalition.

Ali Rustam: Tenkiu very much. Actuallyyyy… I want to correct you. I am actuallyyy a ‘Datuk Seri’. You know ‘Datuk Seri’? It’s a title we give in Malaysia . Like the ‘Sir’ that your Queen give you. But we got a lot of titles, got Datuk, Datuk Seri, Tan Sri and oso Tun.

Interviewer: My humblest apologies, Datuk Seri. And I believe that you are referring to the knighthood awarded by the His Majesty the Queen of England . However, Bloomberg is an American company.

Ali Rustam: Amerika? Sorry, sorry, you all look the same. Of course, Amerika. Oh you got Obama right? Obama is good! He is negro but he become President. Goodlah like that. Amerika now good, hopefully doesn’t become setan anymore. You know setan? We Muslims believe got Setan. Devil. Setan very bad. Amerika oso very bad last time, like devil. Now maybe with Obama Amerika can become good.

Interviewer: Yes, Mr. Obama is the first African American president of the United States .

Ali Rustam: Yeah, his father is negro, right?

Interviewer: (ignoring the ‘negro’ remark) It’s interesting Datuk Seri that you brought up Mr. Obama as the first black American president. Can you ever see the same thing happening in Malaysia ?

Ali Rustam: No, no, no, Malaysia don’t have negros. Indians have lah.

Interviewer: Can an ethnic Indian become the prime minister then? Or an ethnic Chinese?

Ali Rustam: No, no, no, cannot! Only Melayu can become PM. You see, the Malaysia is last time owned by the Malays Only later the Indians and Chinese come. We take them in, of course. We got this social contract between the races. They cannot become PM, of course. In Malaysia we got ketuanan Melayu, you know? You know ketuanan Melayu?

Interviewer: Yes, I am familiar with the concept of ‘ketuanan Melayu’, or Malay supremacy.

Ali Rustam: Yes, yes, Malays are supremacy. Malaysia used to be tanah Melayu you see? Now it is Malaysia , but still belong to the Malays. You see, you must understand, Malays have our own ajenda. The Chinese and Indians must understand. They are Malaysian oso, but they cannot lebih-lebih, you see?

Interviewer: So it’s impossible to see a non-Malay PM in Malaysia ?

Ali Rustam: Not impossible-lah. Nothing is impossible. But cannot lah. Like I said, Malays have got our own ajenda. The Chinese and Indians oso got thier ajenda. So we got to compromise lah. You white people won’t understand.

Interviewer: Actually Datuk Seri, I am Hispanic.

Ali Rustam: Why you panic?

Interviewer: Hispanic. It’s alright Datuk Seri. Moving on, with the world being embroiled in the global financial crisis, what steps will Malaysia take to buffer the effects?

Ali Rustam: Buffer means what?

Interviewer: To cushion the effects.

Ali Rustam: Oh, kusyen. Actuallyyyy… this ekonomi question all you don’t ask me. The Finance Minister is Datuk Najib, our PM. Or you can ask the mamak guy, what’s his name? Oh Nor Yaacop. Ekonomi is not my portfolio. I am ketua menteri Melaka. I know about tourism. You know Melaka?

Interviewer: It is a state in the Federation of Malaysia, am I correct?

Ali Rustam: Correct! Goodlah you, you know Melaka. You must already watch the Shah Rukh Khan movie One Two Ka Four right? Good movie right? You know, we give Datuk to Shah Rukh Khan? He told me he is very happy, he said he will come to Melaka always. We oso thinking of naming a street after him. Jalan Shah Rukh Khan. Probably in those DAP areas.

Interviewer: Can I just pick up on what you said. You mentioned the Democratic Action Party or DAP, part of the opposition coalition of Pakatan Rakyat, or People’s Alliance . Last year, the oppositon have made siginificant inroads during the 12th General Elections. Can you share with us your thoughts on why this occured.

Ali Rustam: Actuallyyy… these opposition they lie to the people. They say that UMNO is bad. We are not bad. We are good! We lead Malaysia for 51 years you know! You see, Malaysia now very developed! They won a lot because they lie to people. But I think now the people understand, the people realize that only UMNO and Barisan Nasional can take care of Malaysia.

Interviewer: But you cannot deny that their influence have increased, especially under the leadership of Mr. Anwar Ibrahim.

Ali Rustam: Anwar? He is big liar. He lie to the people. he said last year September 16 he can make the government, but don’t have! We still the government! No one believes him. You know, he got big problems already. You know he has court case? I don’t want to say anything lah, but a guy said that Anwar sodomized him. I don’t want to say anything about that lah. But the guy swear on the Quran that Anwar did it. Swearing is not a small thing you know!

Interviewer: …

Ali Rustam: But like I said, I don’t want to say anything about that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. I tell you what I think later, okay?

Interviewer: … Moving on, as the new deputy prime minister, what is your vision for the future of Malaysia .

Ali Rustam: Vision? Oh you mean Vision 2020. That one last time our former PM, Tun Mahathir, you know him?

Interviewer: Yes, Dr. Mahathir Bin Mohammad.

Ali Rustam: Good, you know! So last time Tun came up with vision 2020. Wawasan Dua Puluh Dua Puluh, we say in Malay. And then you know Pak Lah become PM. You know Pak Lah?

Interviewer: Yes Datuk Seri. Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, the former PM.

Ali Rustam: So Pak Lah came and he extended vision 2020. So now vision 2020 is in 2050.

Interviwer: So its now vision 2050?

Ali Rustam: No, no, no, you whites don’t understand. It’s still vision 2020, but in 2050. But now that Datuk Seri Najib is the PM, I dunno whether its still in 2050 or 2020. But to answer your question, yes, I have vision 2020.

Interviwer: … That is all the time we have for this interview. Once again Datuk Seri, congratulations on being the deputy UMNO President, and congratulations on being appointed as the deputy prime minister. All the best to you and your country.

Ali Rustam: Your welcome. This interview shown on Astro, right? What time?

Interviwer: … We’ll inform you later.

Note: This is a purely fictional interview, conjured up for the sake of humour. I am not implying that Mr. Ali Rustam is a bad at foreign relations, ethnic relations, the economy nor am I implying that his English is bad. Basically, I am not implying that the real Ali Rustam is an idiot. I’m sure he isn’t. (from a blogger)

stay or LARI ???

HAIH, I'm very 7 confuse and 'farn'...

Today when I'm having lunch, I recieved a call from the previous company that offered my high salary... Asking me if I'm still interested with them?

The boss said "Roger, I'm ??? ah. Are u still interested to work for me?"
Me said "Erm, I'd ady promised my boss to stay wor..."
He said "I'm very urgent now cuz no designer ler. Like this lar I pay you extra RM?K... How?"
Me said "Wah like this meh? Gimme few days time, contact you later..."
He said "Ok den"

Haih, I'm very 7 confused now... Each and every moment is thinking bout it... TAILOW extra RM?K every month wor... CIBAI... Me reali gila now... So wer shud I go?

Y, I'm confused? See below...


Haih, I promised my current boss ady mah. He added my salary so I promised him to stay lor. But...


But money wor, who dun one... If scare the money smell fishy den wash lor... Haih, all bout money. And...



And my heart oso not tat 'SER TUCK' to leave this company cuz work for so long and colleagues are gr8 here... Haih but money is much more important ler...

Fren wat shud I do now? Pls help me... MTRFKR... Ahhhhhhhh!!!

Hungry Ghost Festival

Hungry Ghost Festival... Didn't mean that the ghost is hungry and came out to look for food lar...



Hungry Ghost Festival was celebrated on the 14th day of 7th month lunar calendar... In Hokkien it is knowned as "Poh Toh" and Mandarin "Yu Lan"... But whatever they named it I only know "Chert Yuet Sup Sei"...


Chinese folklore has it tat the gates of the lower realms (HELL) are opened during this month and ghosts are allowed to roam the living world freely... But celebrations are being carried out throughout the month to placate the spirits...



This year I oso celebrate this festival cuz my boss is the president to held this festival... So have to give face lor... If not next year increment a bit hard lar... The celebration was held in Kg. Baru Sg. Buloh, the place I work...


When I enter the praying ceremony I saw this big paper statue sitting under the canopy like "Tai Kor"... He look like TRANSFORMER lor but chinese version one lar... He's the God of Hades!!!


Then a colleague of mine asked me to pray pray lor... So have to PAY before you PRAY... He ask me to pay RM5 but I dun have small change, den have to pay RM10 lor... Haiz


This is wat I get for the praying thingy... Not all lar only take one...

The below are wat I saw wen I'm praying or worshipping:-

The God Of Hades...


Roadtax for cars... GING... JRJ? Stands for Jom Rasuah Jom...
And notice the number? Just came out few days ago...


A table for the remembrance of the deceased... Nicely arranged...


New clothes for them to "Seong Low"...


The Queen Hell cruise...


If no ticket for the cruise, can ride horse oso...


Or win some money to get free ticket... But only for our other world neighbour lar...

I think they oso can get wat we have here... So dun have to worry lor, cuz their world is so updated too...

After all the tiring worshipping and prayers, my colleague and me go find our table and get ready for dinner lor... But I din stay long ter cuz very boring mah... So I manage to feed my stomach with:-


"Ping Poon", appetizer...


Shary Fins Soup...


Stewed knuckle...

While eating got performance oso lar... By old lady, eat oso wana vomit straight ahead cuz she reali "But Ji Leong Lik"... Meaning, didn't use the mirror to look on herself carefully...

Around 9:30pm I oso cabut lor... Apparently, 11pm is midnight for the Chinese, and it was when everyone helped to bring the entire display of paper effigies and items to a big field to be burnt... A Master chanted and rang a bell to reduce the sins of the souls. The longer the bell is rung, the more sins are absolved. The burning of all the paper effigies symbolises the return of the gods to the other world.

The effigy of the paper God Of Hades relocated to an open ground...

Fire are ignited to sent the God back to Hades... Fire beginning to burn fiercely, so the God say Bye-Bye lor...

* This is what Hungry Ghost Festival was...

Why students get 21As?

How to explain the fact that students are much more smarter or clever recently, compare to ours' grandfathers era?

Are students reali do getting smarter? Or the question getting much more easier?

Let put things in proper perspective... During our grandfather's era, they would ask exam question like:-


"In what year did Parameswara founded the kingdom of Malacca?"...
And the answer would be "1402"...

At that time only small percentage of student passed...

Den my father's era they change the way for a question to:-
"In what year Parameswara founded Malacca?"...
And the answer:-
a) 1480
b) 1500
c) 1402
d) 1502
e) 1408
Pls tick the correct answer...

Later then, the authorities change a different tactic so students get betta results...

So the question, "Parameswara founded Malacca in 1402"... TRUE or FALSE?...
Found out that 50% of students passed... Like playing "Who wants to be a millionaire"...

But the authorities weren't happy enuf, so the cracked their FUCKING heads and came out with this one:-

"Parameswara, the cousin of ProtonIswara, founded Malacca in the year of 1402"
(underline who founded Malacca)

Wah this time 65% students passed lor... But for the same reason the authorities still not contented... So last year they came out with this multi-million dollar question:-


"One day in the year of 1402, Parameswara founded the kingdom of Malacca. Then he went out for dinner cuz walked for a long distance. So what did he eat?...
10% handed in blank paper
60% answered MEE MAGGI
10% go for KFC
20% wrote NASI LEMAK
The rite answer was anything concerning FOOD of cuz...

So the authorities were all so happy, they booked a room in "Tin Seong Yan Gan" ...


What brilliant students we have HERE... Well done BOLEHland...

*Perhaps, this is why we have a host of students with an impressive string of 'As'...

Luxurious Brand & Their Founder

All homo-sapiens in this world also wish to own a piece of luxury brand goods... But what to do? The prices of this luxury piece is so so damn MAHAI... Not all people also got that much money mah... Some of them who own it, willing to tied-up their stomach only for this luxurious goodies...

But do you all know the history of these luxurious masterpiece?


Cartier
Founded in 1847 by Louis Francois Cartier...
Known for numerous pieces of jewelry...

Patek Philippe

Founded in 1851 by Antoni Norbert Patek...

Supply watches to the Royalties...

Most expensive watch ever, costing USD$ 11,000,000...

Franck Muller

Founded in 1984 by Franck Muller...

A noted Swiss watchmaker knwon for creating complicated timepieces...

Mercedes Benz

Founded in 1881 by Karl Benz...

A division of Daimler AG, manufacturer of automobiles, buses, coaches and trucks...

BMW (Bavarian Motor Work)

Founded in 1916 by Franz Josef Popp...

Known for its performance and luxury vehicles...

Parent company of Rolls Royce Motor Cars...

Louis Vuitton (pronounce as LOO-EE VUI-TORN)

Founded in 1853 by Louis Vuitton Malletier...

Renowned for trunks and luggage retailer...

Chanel

Founded in 1847 by Gabrielle Bonheur Coco Chanel...

Specializing in luxury goods such as haute couture, ready to wear, handbags and etc...

Burberry

Founded in 1856 by Thomas Burberry...

Renowned for outdoors attire...

X-Lala

Founded in 1985 by Roger Chai...

Renowned for critisizing and hating LALA

* Luxurious goods will lead you to Ah Long if your not rich, so don't tied-up your stomach just for that piece of item for you to just show off... To all my frens please don't ever try to buy luxury goods for your GF, if not you will call 911...